You Gotta Hear This!

A new old lady you'll want to meet if you haven't already discovered her.

Meeting Elaine

Elaine Soloway is six years ahead of me in life—and thus qualifies to be one of my old ladies. At 88, she can alert me to the twists and turns I might expect as I (hopefully) nudge my way toward ninety and beyond.

I reached out to Elaine initially because she was older and admirable. I read and loved her writing which ranges from the practical to the political, peppered with research, recent news, and tons of wit. One of my favorites, for example, was her piece imagining Steven Miller’s family at a deli in Chicago.

But to be perfectly honest, I also recognized Elaine’s last name, and happily discovered she was that Soloway, the woman whose marriage and family inspired the then-revolutionary TV series, Transparent in 2014.

In real life, Elaine has little in common with Judith Light’s Shelly (2nd from right, above), the beleaguered wife whose husband goes from Murray to Maura. But she certainly has charisma and wit to spare. For her eightieth birthday, she got a tattoo, instead of a face lift. It’s easy to imagine Elaine on stage.

Photo by Ron Gould Studios

Our relationship

Admittedly, I was a bit star struck when I first met Elaine. As I continued to read her Substack newsletter, Escapades, I wanted more. Used to be that my old ladies — women friends who lit my way on the path to Old Age — were twenty or more years my senior. But now, at 82 and counting, I have to make do with a smaller age gap!

Elaine and I have since become, if not actual friends, amiable acquaintances and certainly kindred spirits. We’ve talked on the phone. We’ve zoomed. We read each other’s stuff.

At Elaine’s suggestion, I went to Joe’s Pub in New York City to see One Long Earring, her offspring Faith’s clever take on the reunion of a 1970s lesbian band. Talent runs in the family. The younger sibling Joey wrote the original script for Transparent.

Eventually, I recruited Elaine to be a guest on the Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age podcast. I then put her in the very capable hands (so to speak) of fellow host/producer Nancy Franklin, who writes Mirthquakes, and, as the title promises, also knows her way around humor.

Why should you care?

Nancy interviewed Elaine, had fun doing it, that episode is available now. It’s pure inspiration and upbeat energy.

Of course, I loved it. Elaine is my kinda gal! And now I know even more about her. At one point in the episode, her wit and spirit reminded me of Zelda who lived to almost 105. Elaine learned to swim at 79, and when Nancy asks her about it, she replies, “Yes, but you can’t call what I do swimming.”

Zelda said the same thing, word-for-word, about her tennis-playing — which she did until age 99.

Elaine turns 88 in August. Listen to her conversation with Nancy here. It just might make your day.

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I’m Melinda Blau…thanks for stopping by…

I’m 82 and counting, a journalist, author of 16 books, and a host/producer for Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age. If you’re anxious about “getting old” (something we do from birth) and wonder how Marge, Zelda, and my other much-older friends helped me embrace aging instead of dreading it, pick up a copy of The Wisdom Whisperers: Golden Guides to a Long Life of Grit, Grace, and Laughter. Their stories will give you hope and probably make you laugh and cry.